Yes kids, old Jotzy is known and loved the world over. I have fans across the US, Europe and even in Latin America. Of course my entire fan-base only numbers about 20 people, but still...
Thanks to the internet I can reach some of the .0000000000000001% of people who are receptive to the kind of music I play.
It's not that I suck any more than the average amateur musician. If I played more mainstream music I would have more fans. I know this for a certainty because I had more fans when I played more mainstream music. But I'm tired of mainstream everything, so I have to settle for fewer fans.
I don't make music for fans. I make music because I make music. I tried to quit but the urge wouldn't go away. I wouldn't even bother publishing the music I compulsively create, except that it doesn't ever feel quite finished until and unless someone hears it; a concept that hovers on the verge of making some kind of sense.
I value my few fans. It's wonderful to have someone, anyone, enjoy my music. And my few fans are typically themselves creative musicians, which means a lot to me. I value their opinions much more than the drunk redneck who once, during my mainstream days, told me he loved the Lynnerd Skynnerd song my band had played. We hadn't played a Lynnerd Skynnerd song.
I ruined live performance for myself by experimenting during performances. I would play a superb song superbly then slowly fade it out. Silence. Then I'd play a crap song brashly and end with a big finish. Standing ovation. So much for audience approval.
Around 2000 AD I divorced my guitar and tried to quit music. But after a few years I felt the urge to continue my synth experiments from 1983.
[Begin Digression]
In 1983 I was the only kid on the block who owned Tomita and Synergy albums. I bought a Casio MT-65, a Syndrum and a 4-track recorder to augment my guitar-based demos with other instrument sounds. Instead, I found myself spontaneously making AEJOTZ style synth music. I was excited by how good it sounded to me. I spent a month making this new music, resulting in a 60-minute cassette album that I gave to friends, family and fans of my guitar-based music. The response was unanimous:
"Don't quit your guitar job."
[End Digression]
In 2011 I finally gave in to the creative urge and bought a couple of secondhand synths and a new-fangled digital recorder. AEJOTZ was reborn. The biggest difference from 1983 was that I no longer cared very much if anyone liked my synth music. I cared some, but not enough that it broke my heart that no one thought it was as good as I thought it was.
Then a funny thing happened. Not long after I uploaded some of my music to electro-music.com I heard it played on radio/electro-music.com and I received appreciation and encouragement from a number of forum members. I had found my synthetic siblings!
Other cool things have happened since, like getting played on terrestrial FM and various web-radio programs, but finding my electronic brothers and sisters is the best thing that ever happened to me, musically. The world is stuck with me now, because my bros have got my back.
